Sometimes I think "why do I hate Liz so much?" Then I realize because she is awful.
She is the single most awful blog writer in the whole of creation. Save yours truly, natch.
I bet Liz writes all her entries first in her spiral ruby red colored notebook while sitting in her window box somewhere in her sweet Glover Park grouphouse.
I picture the rain hitting the window as she writes in big loopy cursive letters why that bus ride was so awful.
15 comments:
SHE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE BEST AUTHORS I HAVE READ IN A WHILE. PROB SINCE READING THE GREAT GATSBY IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you even know who wrote The Great Gatsby?
You forgot to label the post:
"Things I like to think are original thoughts of mine, but in reality are probably just completely derivative and evidence that my liberal arts education was a waste of my parents' money."
IT WAS F SCOTT FITZGERALD AND HE IS BURIED IN ROCKVILLE. I WAS SURPRISED WHEN I LEARNED THAT.
So surprised you didn't notice that your caps lock was on?
NO SURPRISED THAT F SCOTT FITZGERALD IS BURIED IN ROCKVILLE. I DON'T THINK HE EVER LIVED THERE.
Liz is really reminding me of this ex-friend of mine, also from "The Midwest," who would constantly regale everyone with her stories of riding the bus (subtext: I'm hip and urban!) and all the people who would "bother" her on the bus (subtext: I'm so hott everyone wants to talk to me all the time!). This person also had very strong opinions about "the way people do things," i.e., the correct way to do things is the way they are done in Tinytown, Minnesota. She refused to eat certain things because they were "weird." Like shrimp. She refused to even conceive of shrimp as a food. And also, she was convinced that she was very, very smart, because, after all, she was the smartest person in her high school class of 100. She was a sad, envious, undermining shrew who I finally cut loose after I discovered she was screwing my boyfriend. The thing is, this person loved DC and constantly used it to impress people "back home." I wonder if Liz is this person. Nah, probably not. These types are excruciatingly common here.
[Chris Farley] Remember, remember that time, when Rusty was waiting for the bus, and, like, the driver saw him, and just kept on going, and Rusty had to wait another half an hour or walk?
That was awesome. [/Chris Farley]
I think CAPS LOCK GUY and Liz should make babies.
Oh, so I guess CAPS LOCK GUY is a woman. My bad.
Anyway, I guess we have DIANE to thank for reminding us that at least Liz knows better than to write in all caps.
I THINK IT HELPS ME GET MY POINT ACROSS. IF IT BOTHERS YOU THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ WHAT I SAY.
I think it's awesome that why i hate liz has its very own troll already. Rusty and James F would be proud.
I think "dianedouglass" is performance art. No way that's for real.
YOU CAN THINK WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT ME BUT THAT DOES NOT CHANGE WHO I AM.
@dianedouglass: which is performance art. And also "lizzy". As a random matter of fact, my brother is a performance artist in New York who actually sells stuff. So I feel somewhat justified in saying your stuff stinks.
So, dude, where are the new posts? If you want to out hate Liz, you'll have to keep us entertained!!
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